her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
