My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
