He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
