I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
