Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
