Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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