you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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