i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
