I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
