oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you would pick up someone in the library
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My breasts were aching with rage.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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