I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We have so much sex to catch up on
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize