Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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