Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
