Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
