Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
