A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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