I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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