when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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