he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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