Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
