Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't think brook has ever known best
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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