You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
