Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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