I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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