Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize