So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
