Fuck appropriateness.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
