i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The air was thick with penises
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
