i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize