talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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