meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
