she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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