i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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