If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
