I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
