i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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