No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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