yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
