Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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