My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
