Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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