Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
