i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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