we have officially lost it.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
BRING THE BAGELS
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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