if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
