Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The dick lei will go down in squad history
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
