Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize