So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
