But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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