i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wish I only lived at night.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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