some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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