Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
