just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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