And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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