Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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