Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
