so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
