Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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