Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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