chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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