A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
