I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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