Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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