So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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