DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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